Emily Virkler - 2000 Scholarship Recipient
Harwood Union High School, Waitsfield

Emily Virkler of Waitsfield has some advice for fellow allies whose friends or family members come out to them: "If they're choosing you, it's really special, because they know they can trust you." Based on her experience with her younger sister Gretchen, a bisexual, Emily emphasizes, "It is important not to force [their coming out]. Let them say it on their own, even if you suspect what they are going to say. Listen, because they just want to get it out."

Emily understands the turmoil that can come with a young person's identifying as GLBT. She remembers how Gretchen was harassed at Harwood Union High School in Duxbury. When Gretchen founded Harwood's Gay-Straight Alliance, Emily became the only senior member.

Since her identification with the GSA, Emily has found in her social group kindred voices of disapproval for rampant homophobia, so often from boys, and for teachers who fail to respond to anti-gay slurs. "I'm so proud of men who break the taboos and tell their guy friends how much they care," Emily explains. Of more insecure men, she says, "When you break it down, most aren't as prejudiced as they seem, which is really worse than ignorance. They're just afraid of what others will think."

In school, Emily has found that among teachers, "It's just so hetero-centered. It would help if teachers started recognizing GLBT kids and learned how to respond to harassing comments." To that end, Emily credits her GSA and advisor Mr. Jean Berthiaume for planning faculty workshops that will help teachers become more responsive to harassment.

The importance of safe space for all in school transcends Emily's Harwood experience. She recalls growing up in a family that accepted her gay aunt and learning a message of tolerance and open-mindedness at Waitsfield Elementary School. In fact, that experience of multi-age teamed classes has inspired Emily to become a primary-level teacher. She plans to study different cultures as a sociology and elementary education major at Syracuse University. Then, Emily hopes to return to Vermont to share her appreciation of human differences with a first, second, and third grade multi-age class. Emily's guiding principle reflects her accepting nature and care for all children. "Even if their parents aren't saying that they love and accept their children," Emily shares, "they will hear it from me early on that everyone is beautiful."

Interviewer Matt Webb teaches 11th and 12th grade English. He lives in Barre. This interview series originally appeared in Out in the Mountains.